The big one is that under Mormon theology both of you must be believing, fully active members to live together in the afterlife. You will always be 2nd. Don't wait for it to eventually fall apart or hope that she will change. If you are willing to wait, then well and good; otherwise, it is best to move on. We are fighting and he has no patience which I understand but its really hard to accept for me because I feel like I need more from him out of the relationship. Never marry someone with the goal of a post-marriage conversion. After you read the CES letter Im pretty sure you will be grossed out by mormonism. Remember she will only try to convert you because she thinks it is in your best interest. As the patriarchal leader, it will be up to you to figure it out and to dispel her unrealistic fantasies. This can be done.
Notify me of new comments via email. You've made good points about not bringing up the CES letter or anything that could be called "anti-mormon. I understand the sacrifice that it takes to become a doctor, but I am not sure if he does. I have no idea if he stayed. I feel a sense of freedom would come with it, but I am also afraid of what this could mean for us in the long run. It is highly likely that she will pressure you to convert, and if you resist, she may resent you for being the barrier to her being sealed to her children. I am more compassionate towards people who I would have stigmatized earlier. In her obviously orthodox Mormon paradigm dad's a bishop, she went to BYU and on a missionunderstand that she believes her husband must be an orthodox Mormon and get married to her in the temple. Good luck to you and your boyfriend. Just trying to make it through the day.
You will have to convert and betray your ideals to keep the relationship alive. We also struggle with infertility. I also expected that my spouse would be temple worthy and that I would get married in the temple, which was not the case.
Sometimes you might even get jealous of the patients since they seem to get to even see your 'doctor' more than you do. As a parent, we hope our children will make life choices that will give them the greatest chance of happiness. You never had it. Even if you are looking towards marriage, it can be better to hold off on more serious activities until a couple of dates to make sure you both feel the relationship is moving in the right direction.