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I've watched a lot of celebrity sex tapes. Dozens of them. Rarely are they titillating—but more interesting is how much they do or don't offer a glimpse into the private lives of those involved. They leave you wondering: Are they being themselves? Are they acting? Are they acting well? Why did they choose the kitchen? When you're filming your sexual activities, self-presentation is paramount. After watching a few of these, you can easily spot the frauds, whose construction is manipulated down to the last frame see: Kim Kardashian, who now has the best-selling sex tape of all time. Considering this is pornographic genre of great cultural interest, I've ranked 11 pivotal celebrity sex tapes here from best to worst—as measured purely by their cinematic qualities.